Concerns of Police Survivors volunteer Cheryl Railsback continues her life’s journey after her son was killed in the line of duty. The ROSE Retreat helped her cross one more hurdle. 

By Jodi Stemler

When Cheryl Railsback was invited to go to the ROSE Retreat in Nashville, she assumed it was because she was being asked to give a presentation. As an active volunteer with Concerns of Police Survivors (C.O.P.S.), Cheryl regularly speaks to groups about what it’s like to lose a loved one in the line of duty.

But she was just one of the girls at this event, pampered with good food and camaraderie—and honestly, she felt very out of place. When she fired her first shots at the range with the P365 ROSE 380, the emotions rose to the surface. It was her son Shane who had taught her to shoot, and it was Shane’s pistol that she kept in her bedside table. However, she hadn’t shot since he was killed shortly after starting with the county sheriff’s department.

Shane joined the Army immediately after he graduated high school in 1995, after four years of active duty he was discharged and earned his criminal justice degree from Sam Houston State University. After college, he became a game warden with the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department and joined the Army Reserves. In January 2005, he was deployed to Iraq leaving his wife and infant son. Cheryl moved in to help her daughter-in-law with the baby.

After a year in Iraq, Shane returned to Texas and went back to work as a game warden. Several years later and with two new children, the long hours and time away from home were straining his marriage. In May 2009, he started working as a Chamber’s County sheriff’s deputy. The new job was close by and allowed him to be home more. Just two months later, Shane was shot and killed when he answered a shots fired call.

More than 3,000 officers came from around the country for Shane’s funeral. The day after he was buried was Cheryl’s birthday. No words can describe the pain of a mother losing their child and Cheryl was in deep grief. The Concerns of Police Survivors, with their mission of repairing the shattered lives of survivors and co-workers affected by line-of-duty deaths, was tremendously supportive and helped her dig her way out of her grief.

In 2011, Cheryl started a foundation in her son’s name and began hosting fundraisers and seeking donations. The Shane Detwiler Foundation provides scholarships to criminal justice students at Shane’s alma mater.  In addition, the foundation purchases much needed equipment to improve the capabilities of the law enforcement agencies in and around Chamber’s County, Texas.

“These small agencies don’t have the funds they need to purchase necessary items like body cameras, ballistic vests, or tasers,” Cheryl notes. “Our foundation was able to support these efforts and recently we secured a K9 for the Chambers County sheriff’s department.”

Cheryl never forgot the support she received from C.O.P.S. after Shane’s death and dedicated her life to helping others cope with losses like what she suffered. She took the C.O.P.S. Critical Incident Stress Management course and became a trainer in the Traumas in Law Enforcement course—one facet of that is line-of-duty death. She also participated in trainings at the national conference and during National Police Week. But one aspect that is close to her heart is going to help agency personnel as they deal with a line-of-duty death.

“My whole goal was that I didn’t want anyone else to be treated the way I was. Agencies focus on the dependents of officers killed in the line of duty, and of course this is essential—we need to make sure the dependents get the benefits they deserve,” she notes. “But there are others who are also suffering from the loss. There are parents who bore that child and raised that child who also need help coping with their grief. There’s so much to it, but C.O.P.S. can help.”

SIG SAUER has a long-standing relationship with C.O.P.S. and has donated on a regular basis. When they reached out to C.O.P.S. Executive Director Dianne Bernhard, looking for someone to participate in the first ROSE Retreat, there was no doubt that Cheryl would be their choice.

“Normally when I’m asked to represent C.O.P.S. I’m asked to be a speaker, but this was very different. I felt very out of place that first day, but the team was so caring, and the women were all so wonderful,” she recalls.

“I still had the pistol that Shane used in Iraq, but I wasn’t sure I would know what to do if I ever had to use it. It was very emotional to shoot again because it took me back to when I first learned to shoot with him. But Joe Ryan, one of the trainers that SIG brought to the event, was so kind and gentle. He used to be law enforcement and with this history we had an immediate connection. I thought, ‘You have to be my person,’ he was so sweet and helpful.”

Fourteen years later, Cheryl never forgets those months following Shane’s death. She went to a C.O.P.S. parents retreat, and it played a huge part in helping her learn to cope. Now she is the one talking to those newer survivors and helping to guide them along this path that none of them chose to take.

“It makes it easier to deal with the grief journey you’re walking when you see someone else who has made it through,” Cheryl notes. “Now I’m here and I’m healthy. The peer support we offer each other is vital to this organization.”

The ROSE Retreat was just part of Cheryl’s journey on her own path. “It was the best thing for me,” she concludes. “It helped me overcome what I hadn’t been able to do. I wouldn’t have shot again to this day if I hadn’t gone to that retreat.”